The Power of Not Knowing

The importance of asking questions and being curious cannot be overstated. A Harvard Business Review article by Allison Wood Brooks and Leslie K. John said asking questions “spurs learning and the exchange of ideas, fuels innovation and performance improvement, and builds rapport and trust among team members. And it can mitigate business risk by uncovering unforeseen pitfalls and hazards.”

When we know, we should want to know more. But what about when the well is dry? What do we do when there’s no foundation to formulate a plan or express an opinion? In my experience, a lot of people will make it up. They’re too embarrassed or their ego is too big to say, “I don’t know.” Too many people are conditioned to show no weaknesses or, worse, they’re plain ol’ bullshitters. Unfortunately, the B.S. artists frequently get away with their shams because others are too embarrassed (or too fearful or too much of a sycophant) to challenge them.

I like to surround myself with people who are comfortable – contented, really – about saying they don’t know, they don’t have an answer. They have a genuine interest in gathering facts and ideas.

I was reminded how important this was by my friend David. It wasn’t, “Hey, Paul, you should think about writing an article about the importance of having a curious mind.” The inspiration came from a long conversation about family, people we like (or don’t), food, books, music, movies, and politics. We got to a certain spot in the discussion, and he said, “I don’t know enough to have an opinion about that. What do you know?” 

I still feel refreshed when I think of that. His openness and honesty were, well, an inspiration. He’s a very smart guy, and smart people – confident and curious people – ask questions, dig around for facts and data, and seek out knowledgeable individuals for their perspectives. 

Einstein didn’t come up that day, but it hit me later that he said, “The important thing is not to stop questioning… Never lose a holy curiosity.”

A questioning, fact-finding mindset goes beyond friendships, of course. It should be a societal imperative. It’s a mentality that can lift everyone up. And it’s an essential element in mentoring. Good mentors know this, even in legend. When the future King Arthur asked, “Would you mind if I asked you a question?” Merlin (the wizard who was also his teacher and advisor) answered, “It is what I am for.” 

We should all be for it.